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This is a woman who wants all the realness and won’t settle for less. ⁣⁣
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No more artificial, filler type food, friends, men, work, conversation. I can’t take the emptiness anymore. ⁣⁣
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I want the juicey intimacy, the space in between, the knowing details. I know it’s not always easy, but I’m ready for it. ⁣💯⁣
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All the reals with all the feels is my motto.

When you wake up each morning, you can choose to be happy or choose to be sad. ⁣⁣
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It is up to you. ⁣
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Each morning, when the sun shines through your window, choose to make it a happy day. ☀️⁣⁣
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The sun is shining on your face if you choose to believe it is. ⁣⁣🌟
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📸 @johnwilliam_photo

Cheers to the freakin’ weekend ya’ll. I’m kicking it off with gratitude and a smile. ☺️ It’s been a good week. I am thankful 🙏

Make no mistake- loving yourself 💕 is not for beginners. It takes a lot of perseverance, slaying dragons and telling your inner mean girl (or boy) to shut the fuck up. ⁣⁣
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My self love journey started when I accidentally found myself surrounded by people who were loving me unconditionally- thank you @intensati ⁣⁣🙏
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I thought I was unworthy and undeserving of the way I was being treated- with such sensitivity and kindness- because it was so different than I treated myself. ⁣
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But staying close to that community of lightbringers was my saving grace. They loved me unconditionally until I learned to love myself. ⁣⁣♥️
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It started small. Being able to look at myself in the mirror without wincing. Admiring my freshly pedicured toes. Admitting that I loved my freckles. ⁣⁣☺️
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In retrospect, that was the easy part- making peace with the outsides. Now, the challenge is to look at myself as more than what I see in the mirror- to know that I am a beautiful soul and spirit. One that deserves love ❤️. And I can give that love to myself. More self love and gratitude is always the answer. ⁣⁣
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If you’re on quest for self love, you are freaking brave. Radical self acceptance of your insides and outsides, is no small feat. One thing is certain, the journey will ebb and flows. Trust the process. You’re on the right path. The light is around the corner. 🔜🔜🔜

Looking forward to tomorrow’s “Coffee & Conversation” with girl bosses galore at @hatchedcollective. ⁣
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For me, community is everything. If I look back at the most successful times in my life- when I was happiest and most me- I was plugged into community. ⁣
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It’s not just any community, it’s a community of like minded peeps where I feel seen, like my tribe. I had it in NYC with DDG, my sati sisters and @sohohouse , but I am rebuilding here in San Diego and finding a tribe takes time. ⁣
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I just need to keep reminding myself of that. It just take time to find your people. ⁣💯
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So, in the interim, I’m exploring and encouraging myself to enjoy the middle, or the journey as they say. I’m trying out coffee shops in North Park and Normal Heights, to see where I feel most at home, most like me. ⁣
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I’m meeting new people, trying to talk to strangers and thank goodness, San Diegans are super friendly! The one place that I did feel most at home was at @hatchedcollective so excited to keep plugging in to their community, events and to host my first workshop there towards the end of the month, called ‘The Ultimate Love Story- Living a Self Love Life.⁣’
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Send all San Diego recos, especially tacos, sushi, coffee creativity, and what to do when you want to go out but don’t know where to go! 📸 @ohheyyolanda

And she cooks too. ⁣
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Until a year ago, I didn’t eat any fat. I was a fat-phobe but without fat, my brain wasn’t working and I couldn’t make smart food choices. I was terrified (truly, madly, deeply terrified) of avocado, olive oil and all nuts- Now, these foods are my go-tos- my mind is working like it’s supposed to 🔥 ⁣
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With a sharp mind, I can be present and be empathetic and most importantly, fulfill my life’s purpose of writing and speaking in a relatable, head nodding way. I have something to do here and who knew that avocados 🥑 are actually a key to making it all come together. Ha! ⁣
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By nourishing myself, I can save myself from insanity and hopefully, help other women make peace with food, body, and exercise. I wont let years of shuffling carbs around the plate, calculating macros, and finally believing that fat won’t make me fat go to waste. ⁣⁣⁣
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I am dedicated to my #eatingdisorderrecovery, to speaking my truth and have to scoop up this guac with some chips 🤪 #gopatriots

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